Ineffectual
by Mystik Genie
Summary: Sakura is determined to become Sasuke's type, she'l do anything to change herself, learning the hardway why she just isn't. Sakura bashing, SasuNaru yaoi


**Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! And I'm giving you all a present, on my birthday! (Which is Oct sun 7th )**

**Just a bit of fun really: Sakura has to learn the hard way, why she just isn't Sasuke's type. Lots of Sakura bashing- best thing really -giggle-. I've been telling myself "I'm going to finish and upload it tonight" every night for the past 2 weeks, but I always got caught up doing something else…none of it school work. Lol. Though a few times it was script writing and rehearsals for our cosplay skit. Cept my partner wants to take out all the yaoi! Dam her! But yeah look out for us: Rainbow Pocky Productions!**

**XD**

**Of course I own Naruto, that's why I'm writing fan fiction under the name of MystikGenie instead of professionally under the name of Masashi Kishimoto**

**Neither am I the creator of a certain quote I used. You'll know it when you see it-if you don't your lame!**

**Enjoy!**

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"Why Kakashi-sensei why?" Sakura began to bawl as Sasuke was dragged away by Naruto after a hard days training to go to the Ichiraku Ramen shop.

Kakashi suppressed a sigh and turned his attention to the hopeless girl in front of him, her hands clasped together in fist like motions that she did on many an occasion.

"Why what, Sakura?"

Tears welled up in her eyes "Why doesn't Sasuke like me? I'm pretty aren't I? Tell me I'm pretty! TELL ME!"

Though slightly scared by Sakura's screaming, he didn't show any fear, after all ninja's don't feel fear; at least no good ninja did anyway.

"Alright alright!" he held his hands up in a defensive matter "You're pretty!"

"Then why doesn't Sasuke love me? I'm pretty and I love him; he's so handsome and cool. I'd be really nice to him, treat him like a human being, give him gifts and love him everyday"

"Erm, you really don't know why Sasuke doesn't love you do you?" the confused face she was giving him told him a big fat: NO! "Well you see Sakura, Sasuke doesn't love you because, because - maybe you're just not his type. You know"

Sure enough she began to cry even more, burying her face in the unwanted jacket of her teacher, the said teacher thought it may be best to tell her the complete truth, if only to get her off him.

"What is his type then? I'll do whatever it takes to become it!"

But then again, he thought she may cry even more, plus if he didn't some very interesting things could happen. So in his best interest - and to stop her cleaning his clothes with her tears- and for some entertainment he decided to say:

"His type- he likes those who- smile a lot"

This caught her attention "smiles a lot? But Sasuke never smiles, well hardly ever"

"Well" he paused for a moment "I suppose opposites attract" then softy under his breath "In that area at least"

"What?"

"Oh, I said opposites attract" he smiled sweetly at her under the mask placing his hand behind his head.

She looked at him sceptically "yeah, but what did you say after that?"

"Nothing nothing, honestly!" he thought desperately "so what are you going to now? Now you know his type" he crossed his fingers behind his back '_please please please please'_

A look of determination crossed her features "I'm going to make Sasuke love me!"

The '_Good luck with __**that!**__' _comment in Kakashi's head was quickly replaced by '_What the __**hell **__is that!_' and a sense of fear, and deep pity for Sasuke.

There Sakura stood with an extremely creepy smile on her face, the sort with said 'I'm eating you next' or something alone those lines.

"Try again" he said gently…cringing

She relaxed her face and tried again, this time not looking so scary, but still fake and verging on the creepy side, in attempt to smile a lot, where as is she'd just smiled normally -which is what happened when she was around Sasuke anyway, she would have at least looked slightly normal -after all, how normal can someone with natural pink hair be?

"There! Have I got it?" all the time keeping he smile firmly in place, which is hard when talking.

Kakashi nodded to get rid of her "now go and try win his heart, give it your best shot, he's at Ichiraku's remember" he waved as she walked off, laughing slightly when a squirrel fell out of the tree when it saw her walk past, the poor thing probably fainted of shock.

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Sakura had made it to Ichiraku's -scaring some people on the way- and there sure enough sat Sasuke, slowly eating his ramen. With, Naruto. And. And Ino. Anger and jealousy burned up inside her as Ino tightened her grip on Sasuke's arm as she tried to cuddle up to him, Sakura grinned madly when Sasuke shook Ino off suddenly, the tip of her balance causing her to nearly fall off her stool. She confidently made her way to them, her big, big smile firmly in place.

There she was, she walked through and sat down beside Naruto, ready to wow Sasuke with her smile, then he would fall for her.

"What's wrong with your face?"

Or her to fall to the ground, either way really, in this case, yeah, she fell, to the ground, very embarrassing, poor girl- or not.

"Nothing Ino-Pig!" she glared at her, then resumed her smile "I just smile a lot" she tried to catch Sasuke's gaze "yes I do, I smile a ,lot, because I love to smile"

He just stared at her, elegantly raising an eyebrow, this single action making her and Ino swoon in their seats. It would only be a little longer then we would stand and say 'My dear, I love you, Sak-'

"Naruto"

No that wasn't right. Sakura, out of her daze looked once again upon Sasuke would had stood up and place his chopsticks in a finished position. "Naruto I think we should go now" he gave Ino and Sakura a weird look, as Naruto sat disbelievingly at him. Leave Ichiraku's? He was only on his 3rd bowl of ramen, and he wasn't full yet.

"Now? But I haven't finished"

"WE should go now" he indicated to the two girls drooling over him, with his eyes, Naruto caught on and reluctantly put down his bowl in defeat and stood up.

"Fine, let's go. Bye Sakura, bye Ino" the two began to walk away, until Naruto ran back and downed the rest of the ramen, smiling as he wiped his mouth and ran back to Sasuke, who stood there waiting for him a slight smile on his lips.

Sakura and Ino, sat watching them walk away, both wondering if Sasuke would ever smile for them like that. -sigh-

The two girls became aware of each other and immediately began arguing

"**Look what you did, you made him leave!"**

"**No I didn't you did!"**

"we were getting along fine until you came in, scaring him away with your smile, if it could be called that"

"Ino-pig! It's all part of my plan, then when it succeeds you'll be sorry"

"Well whatever your plan is, it doesn't seem to be working"

Sakura crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue "It will too, I just need to find out more about what his type is, that's all"

Ino laughed softly, Sakura was trying to become Sasuke's type so he would find her attractive, well she'd already tried that when she grew out her hair for him, but it didn't work. Come to think of it, it didn't work for any of the girls. But if Sakura worked out how to get Sasuke she could steal it and have him for herself "Well" she began to cackle in her mind "how are you going to do that?"

Sakura thought to herself, Kakashi had been the one to help her in the first place, she could ask him again. She smiled to herself and nodded, pleased with her thinking.

"Kakashi"

Suddenly Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke, one hand raised in a wave, causing both the girls to scream and fall off their stools "Hi girls, you called?"

He smiled as the girls began to rant at him "Kakashi you crazy old perv!" "How dare you scare us"

"Hey wait a sec!" Sakura stopped and shouting but still looked really angry "How come you're always late for training, but I mention your name and you appear?"

Kakashi blanched "Erm" how was he supposed to explain that he'd been watching from the nearest tree laughing at her. "Anyway how's operation 'become Sasuke's type' going? He asked you to marry him yet" he grinned…

…she began to cry. "Not even close! I smiled big and lots and was nice but he didn't notice. He left with Naruto"

Kakashi hid a smile and sighed instead "Aww, poor you, I guess you're just not his type. You should probably give up on him and find a guy who likes you. That Lee fellow likes you doesn't he?"

The mention of the spring of youthfulness, bushy brows had stopped Sakura from crying, instead she flung herself at Kakashi's trouser leg, on her knees, a look of horror on her face.

"PLEASE! Please please, help me! I can't be Lee's girlfriend! He's too lame! I'll do anything for Sasuke to like me. What else do you know?"

Kakashi pondered this for a moment "If I tell you will you get off me?"

Sakura's tear stained face gave a quick nod.

"Alright" he gave his leg a little kick and she let go, still kneeling on the floor by his feet "I do recall he said something else. But you won't like it"

"I don't care tell me"

"Well" he grimaced and braced himself for her reaction "Sasuke likes blondes."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!" Sakura began beating the ground with her fists, a fresh flood of tears threatening to fall.

While Ino behind her started to do a victory dance. 'Yes! I knew it, I have beaten Sakura for Sasuke's heart!"

"yeah" Kakashi sounded _really_ sorry for her "I guess there's nothing you can do, you can't turn yourself blonde!"

Sakura looked up! "But I can!" She grinned feeling pleased with herself "What kind of blonde does he like?"

Kakashi thought about this for a moment "Bright blonde I guess, I never really got shades of colour-"

But Sakura had already left, Kakashi turned around to see her waving as she ran off to do something which was obviously very important shouting thanks and goodbye to him. Kakashi stood there dumbfounded by her behaviour, but waved a hand in response, even though she couldn't see it.

Beside him Ino stood with a curious look on her face as if trying to work something out, then a look of shock and anger. Kakashi wisely moved away; Ino had discovered what Sakura was going to do, and she wasn't happy!

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The next morning Sasuke and Naruto stood waiting for Sakura and Kakashi by the bridge, Sakura was usually there earliest, but she was late, if she didn't come soon, there was a chance Kakashi would come before her.

Slowly a figure in the distance came closer and closer "Hey is that Sakura?" Sasuke peered harder, the figure didn't have the bright pink hair, so It couldn't be Sakura, but sure enough it was, but she was wearing a hat.

She walked over to them and stood leaning against the bridge all her hair hidden under the hat, and few strands fallen down, but they weren't the usual pink colour, they were slightly different.

"Erm Sakura" Naruto leant forward trying to get a closer look at her hair "What's wrong with your hair?"

Sakura lashed out and starting hitting Naruto as she yelled at him "why do you think something is wrong with my hair? why would it be wrong? Can't a girl accessorise once in a while?"

Sasuke eventually stopped the attack on Naruto as he was being shaken a bit too much for his liking. Note the eventually; when Sakura let go of Naruto he fell to the ground clutching his head and moaning; it was too early in the morning to be pulverised by a temperamental teenage girl.

"Sakura, I don't think beating up Naruto is the best thing to do. Yes it's very fun" this got a look from Naruto "But it's not such a good thing to do. Now what is a matter? Why are you hiding your hair?"

Sakura bit her bottom lip and tears started to well up, but she held them back "There's nothing wrong with my hair, I just had a little accident" she reached up for the hat, both the boys eyes watching her hands as they travelled up and began to gently tug at the hat. But then her hands stopped and dropped down by her sides, the hat remained covering her hair.

"Yo!" Kakashi looked down at his students, and got worried when they didn't start yelling at him for being late, something was definitely wrong. Sakura had her hair covered, Sasuke and Naruto weren't wasting energy [one way or another and Naruto was on the floor still swaying slightly and clutching his head.

"So Sakura how did your idea go? You blonde yet?" the tears streaming down her face told him 'no' "What went wrong?" She sighed and pulled off her hat, letting her hair fall down and show everyone what had become of it!

Naruto immediately started laughing at her "You're a ginner!" Sure enough The blonde hair dye hadn't reacted well with her pink hair and had turned it a sickly weird ginger-blonde colour. Needless to say Sakura leapt at Naruto throttling him, while Kakashi merely shook his head and Sasuke said "you really shouldn't have said that"

Naruto lay flat on his back, Sakura repeatedly punching him in her anger. "You think you can laugh at me, you jerk. Take it back!"

"Ahhhh! Sass-uuu-ke he-elp me!"

Sasuke tsked "Dobe, fight your own battles. It's your own fault for insulting her terrible hair"

Sakura stopped mid punch, letting go of Naruto's shirt and looked up at Sasuke "you think my hair looks terrible?" tears reformed in her eyes at the distasteful look upon his face "but I did it for you, so you'd fall in love with me"

Naruto perked up at this, but Sasuke remained stotic "why would to changing how you look make me fall in love with you, there's nothing you could do that would make me find you attractive, you or any of the other girls in this village"

Sakura's lower lip began to wobble, then she leapt up and ran from the bridge and out of sight, leaving the three men to ponder why girls were so touchy abut their hair.

"Sasuke I don't think you should have said that, she looked really upset"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow "it was necessary"

"mmm, I just don't feel right bout it"

Sasuke grinned feraly and leaned over Naruto "I could make you feel better" Naruto slowly smiled and stood up, glancing sidewides at Kakashi.

"Right" Kakashi glanced between the two "You to go and start…training, I'm going to fetch Sakura. Bye!"

Kakashi left promptly to find Sakura quickly finding her half way up a tree, it was easy to find her due to the river falling down the tree trunk.

Kakashi knew he would kick himself for it later but regardless "Yo!" Sakura once again jumped and clutched onto his jacket.

"Why doesn't he like me! I tried so hard!"

_Kakashi mentally groaned _"Erm, Sakura, you just really aren't his type, and you never will be" she stopped crying _'thank God' _and sniffed, he pulled her down the tree and walked her through the woods.

"Sakura, maybe you should know the real reason you're not Sasuke's type" he lead her through the trees just outside a small clearing where Sasuke and Naruto would train together. She walked near the edge and looked in though the bushes, and immediately jumped back a small stream of blood flowing from her nose "What are they doing? Why? What? When? How?"

Kakashi stood next to her and looked at the scene in front of them; Naruto sat leant against a tree as Sasuke straddled him, their mouths met in a kiss, their hands roamed against each others bodies, Sakura vaguely felt the blood drip from her nose onto her top but didn't seem to care.

Suddenly Naruto pulled put of the kiss as Sasuke's hands went lower and began to try pull on a particular part of a particular item of clothing "Teme, Sakura and Kakashi could be back at any moment, they can't walk in on us like this. Remember what happened when Kakashi found us?"

Sasuke sighed dejectedly "fine, I'll control myself till tonight, then you're mine" he grinned but then turned serious "But I think it would do good for Sakura to find out, she needs to realise I'm just not into her, or another girl for that matter. Not while I have you"

Naruto cocked an eyebrow at that comment "_while_ you have me?"

"You know what I mean" with that he leant forward and caught Naruto's lips in another fierce kiss, their passion for one another blocking out all their senses of the world around them and of Sakura and Kakashi a few yards away.

Sakura walked ait away from were she stood and watched them, and leant against a tree and slowly slid down trying to take in what she had seen.

Sasuke and Naruto were gay, and together. _This explains so much!_

Kakashi walked over to her and knelt down next to her "Well I guess you know now. You're not Sasuke's type, because your not blonde, nor do you smile a lot, nor are you a guy. Basically you're not Naruto"

Sakura ran thoughts though her head; smiles endlessly, blonde, full of energy and going out with Sasuke. Now she'd never have a chance with Sasuke, she never did. She clutched her hands tightly together and let out a shrill scream, then to Kakashi's surprise she started to…laugh!

This maniacal laughter coming from the pink-turned-ginger girl caught the attention of Naruto and Sasuke nearby…and the fearful residents of Konoha far away, not to mention that poor squirrel from before.

A ruffed looking Naruto, soon joined by a miffed looking Sasuke came and stood by Kakashi -who was trembling slightly.

Naruto ruffled the back of his hair nervously, sending side glances to Sasuke and Kakashi, none of them knowing what was running through her mind. "Erm, hi Sakura, how's things"

Sakura halted in her laughter, staring at the two newly revealed couple, pointing at them "You, you two are together, no wonder you never liked any of the girls in Konoha, or anywhere else for that matter! Waaaaaa! Why don't you like me, please date me Sasuke!!!" she got down on her knees, begging him.

"No offence Sakura, but you're just not my type" Sasuke pulled his leg away from her and began to walk away, but was pulled to a halt by Naruto.

"Hey, am I your type?" Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes wondering, Sasuke just smiled and kissed him.

"Dobe, my type IS you" they smiled each other and resumed kissing, while the little stream of blood resumed to trail down Sakura's face.

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**Ahhh, so much fluff, suffocating! Not how I wanted it to end, but whatever. Actually, come to think of it, it kind of changed genres and styles quite a lot, of well, must work on that. **

**Bwahahaha at Sakura's bad hair. Note: I'm not trying to offend people with ginger hair, I know and love [if ya get me wink many ginger haired people. If you have not come across the term 'ginner' it's basically an ugly ginger person. **

First person to review gets the squirrel (whom i have named Pete) the second person can have a cute little spider i found in art (whom i named Jack) i love them dearly, but i'm wanting reviews so much that i'm givng them away -sigh-

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Review me! to speak, or to get Pete or Jack**

**Even just to wish me a happy birthday, I'm 18; a mature, responsible adult -maniacal laughter- I'm so funny!**


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